That "New Year Smell"

Today has that "new year smell". Or is it the rain we've had all day. No, I'm pretty sure it's that "new year smell".  Well I don't do resolutions however, this time of year does make me reflective and retrospective.  Oh, yeah, I get deep in it (scary for my mind).

What I learned in 2012

I ain't perfect

In 2012 I learned that I'm not grown up and never will be.  I've been waiting to "feel" grown up since I was 30 something.  Never happened.  I still have the same childish inner thoughts that seem to be creeping out more and more.  I've accepted my personal issues too and embrace them as uniquely mine.  Issues? Yeah, you know, the neurotic, OCDish type issues.  2012 taught me that whoever thinks I'm crazy haven't really seen crazy.  I'm just a lovable little "loon".

No, not this kind of Loon.

 

This kind of "loon" (as in entertaining August J. and in my creativity)

 

Moving forward in 2013 I will embrace my youthful spirit and let my fun flag fly often!

 

Mess comes with the territory

I drive myself crazy thinking that everything has to be neat and orderly to get anything done.  Just try working on one project and keeping everything neat and orderly and see how much you get done.  Although my workspace as of late has left a lot to be desired.  Not entirely my fault.  We've spent the last month rearranging our house.  The last to get treatment, of course, is my workspace.  Alas, I am alone in that endeavor, left to my own neurotic ideas of everything in it's place.  By the end of 2012 I've learned that everything does NOT have a place of it's own and there will always be loose strings to tidy up.  I've learned that as long as you know where your materials & tools are you can work. *sigh* That was not easy.

 

Moving forward in 2013 I will work around my mess.

 

Just do it!

Never mind the perfect time or conditions.  When you're working for yourself at home, there's NEVER the perfect time or conditions.  Like writing this blog today, I've been interrupted by the girls, literally every 2 minutes for the past hour.  Then there are the days when I planned to work all day but August J. would in effect say, 'change of plans MaMarie'.  It is all about him after all.  Nonetheless, I learned that anytime is a good time to create or get the grunt work done.  Albeit late in the year, I learned it. 

 

Moving forward in 2013 I know that I don't have the luxury of setting a specific work schedule, but I will capitalize on each minute and be productive with the time I take out for my work and create what's in my heart.

 

 

 

 

What about you?  What did you learn during 2012?  How will you use those lessons to grow or make your creativity better?

 

Work hard, love harder but if you're not having fun you're won't be very successful.

 

Peace be the journey,

 

Tammy

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Yes, I worked in a cubicle for several years (20 to be exact).  How I hated that. Every morning my alarm clock would ring and I'd grunt a loud, "Ugh!".  I realized that I was an "octogon" in a square world. I just didn't fit in.  My co-workers were pleasant enough.  There were 3 groups of co-workers: the "Promot me annoyingly company person group", the "I'm only doing this until something better comes along group" and the "I hate my boss/job group".

I didn't fit in with any of those groups. My happy-go-lucky, "just chill out everything will get done when I get everything done" personality didn't fit in with the corporate scheme of things. Go figure. During my cubicle life, I wrote quite a bit of poetry. One piece was born out of my frustration and ire for the cubicle life. Wanna read it? Here it is:

• Inspiration:  In New Orleans we lived across from a natural levee which bordered the Mississippi River and the Industrial Canal. From atop the levee you could see the Downtown skyscrapers, housing corporate offices and various high rise hotels. One evening as the sun was setting on the Mississippi I looked over at those buildings and the setting sun glistening on them and thought, "How beautiful; too bad it doesn't look like this from the inside."

City Skyline

Looking out across the Mississippi I can see the Downtown skyline

The sun glistening on the glass and iron making the buildings shine

My spirit, though, cannot be warmed by the sun's glow as I peer that way

A cold glare is all I see because over there, darkness covers the light of day

Visions of white men, black women, latino wives and asian husbands

Clawing and scratching through corporate America's raging torrents

For the prize they all stretch and empty themselves of all their fiber

Trampling over bodies, just another obstacle, like a rock climber

Scrapping and growling, marking territory to stake their claim

On the prowl, ready to pounce all for the sake of making a name

The city skyline sitting on the Mississippi, quietly it howls

The roar of the corporate machine pounding up from it's bowels

Souls of the forgotten ones go about haunting the elevators and halls

Where they're boxed in cubes, hidden from the sun and fed in stalls

Corporations etch the skyline, making a few rich, the major, tho,  just exist

The lure of security traps them in cubes like a hamster in a cage, what a twist

Hamsters learning to be content with running but getting no place

Unless you're willing to play their game of "hide your true face"

The sun sets on the city skyline like a brush painting it orange and then grey

Sleep now little hamsters, you'll need your strength for another corporate day

(c) Tammy Walker-Thomas 2003

That's all for today. Take baby steps to the dream.

Peace be the journey,

Tammy

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